Let them eat Humble Pie!

The left is in the third leg of their full-scale “cry-atholon” today and frankly, I LOVE IT! I remember being in their shoes when the messiah Obama was chosen two years ago. I sat quietly by while they did their end zone dances and “in-your-face” moves but now it’s our turn. Suck it up lefties and belly up to the bar for another slice of humble pie.
I’ve heard just about everything, from TV to radio, blogs and Facebook “friends” I haven’t gotten around to deleting yet, the resounding theme among them is bewilderment. They can’t begin to imagine how so many could be influenced by the hate-mongers on the right. How could we possibly want to return to the so-called “failed agendas” that got us in to this mess? They also want to us to know that we have exactly the same 18 months to prove ourselves that we gave poor President Obama. Let me brief you depressive Dems on where you went wrong and where the system went right.
The left pushed policies that they knew where unpopular, and they were warned, but chose instead to look down their noses because they knew what was better for us. What they learned last night is that this is a representative republic and thus when they were elected their job was to represent their constituents. They did not.
As for being guided by “fear” and “hate” you would have to be totally blind to the things President Uniter himself has called anyone who disagrees with his policies over the last 18 months. When you are someone who once proudly wore the uniform of this country being referred to as the “enemy” is kind of divisive and hateful wouldn’t you say? Not to mention a lot of the other things he and all the democratic candidates have said about what the right would do if they regained power.
With regard to failed agendas of the past and the 18 months He has had to fix them, I seem to recall the Dems being in charge of the House and Senate for the two years before Obama took over. If they weren’t behind the wheel on the way in to the “ditch” they were holding the map. Since then however they haven’t gotten a tow rope or called AAA, they’ve just tried to cover the car in dirt and blame the driver. Sorry, but my parents would have taken my keys away too. So the moral here is that it wasn’t just a year and a half and they were Democratic agendas that were failing!
The last thing for my sullen socialists to remember is that while you may think this is the end of the world, take comfort in the fact that someone far smarter than you foresaw this sort of thing centuries ago. A bunch of true patriots sitting around in powdered wigs drinking Sam Adams Pale Ale (I’m assuming of course) figured out that breaking the government in to branches that could keep the others in check would be a good thing. Last night we put that power in check.
I don’t care what all of the crying, sniping lefties in my world are saying today about how the change in the balance of power is a natural occurrence; I’m taking a victory lap! And now back to my jubilation already in progress...

Tim Wilkins is a nationally touring comedian and talk radio host on WWPR 1490 in Tampa, FL.

The end of Hope and Change...thank goodness!

I have bad news for President Obama. Like Barney Frank getting dumped before the waiter could bring the next round of apple-tinis, the man-date is over. That is to say, whatever smidgeon of a mandate he may have had, real or perceived, has ended. The people who fell for his messianic bravado and empty platitudes like “Hope” and “Change” have gotten the bill for his “free lunch” and have no desire to let him call for take out again.
It’s hard to say whether it was a determination to truly wreak havoc on our country or if Mr. Obama actually believed he had the backing of every American to push decidedly leftist policies but he did. Despite his margin of victory being thinner than that low-carb bread my wife thought was a good idea he was not to be deterred. His Majesty used this, choke, choke, overwhelming support to push an agenda that even his pal Fidel Castro thought was a bit left of center. He started things off with massive spending bills that resulted in a few over-priced temp jobs and washed that down with the overtaking of the nation’s health and wellness that amounted to roughly 1/6th of our economy. Why stop there right? He nationalized a major automaker and the student loan industry so fast NASCAR pit crews would be amazed.
Having done all that the tuckered out Prez took a vacation or ten and waited for the results of all of his hard work to kick in…and it did! Well, not exactly the way he’d planned. The trillion dollar stimulus that was perfect for keeping unemployment under 8% failed miserably but who’s really gonna notice that on a national debt that was already so big? Or those few million people without jobs? And we can’t forget Obamacare, which is already starting to give us “benefits” like a spike in premium costs to offset pre-existing conditions like lazy dependent kids who can’t seem to move out by 26. I don’t need an entitlement for that I would pay heavily out of pocket to have those surgically removed by 21 at the latest.
At a recent rally for Democrat Russ Feingold, Michelle Obama begged voters for patience so the greatness of Obama’s reform can continue. As reported in the Sydney Morning Herald, the US First Lady poignantly said that “she felt the economic anxiety of hurting Americans”, but pleaded with them to give her husband more time to forge the change he promised. Why should we when even our reporters are losing jobs to foreigners? I think that’ll be about enough Mrs. O.
The elections are here, polls are coming in and it seems to be shaping up for a true mandate. One that will either take us off the path to the fairy tale land of Hope and Change or at the very least put a fork in the road and send Obama to Far, Far Away to dine with Shrek. It’s up to us now to send a loud message. Like they say in Chicago, vote and vote often.

Tim Wilkins is a nationally touring conservative comedian and radio host on WWPR 1490am in Bradenton, FL.

Sorry Virginia, there are no shovel ready projects

I must say I’m crushed…heartbroken…maybe even crestfallen. First some thugs on the schoolyard tell me it’s actually my parents leaving gifts under the tree and taking pretend bites out of the Christmas cookies. Then I find out that there really isn’t a mystical bunny rabbit that leaves candy in baskets of fake plastic grass Easter morning. Now I learn this?! President Obama has admitted to Peter Baker of the New York Times that the very premise of his trillion dollar stimulus was based on a myth! It brings me no great pleasure to tell you this if you haven’t heard already but, “I’m sorry Virginia, there is no such thing as a ‘shovel-ready’ project.”

I better go a step farther and say, “I’m sorry Virginia, Texas, Ohio, Michigan, etc., etc.” All across the 54 states, (thank you to our geography Professor Obama for the update on the state count), we were supposed to be feeling the explosive and almost instantaneous job growth provided by pumping hundreds of billions of dollars into the economy. Unfortunately that hasn’t quite worked out the way that Team Obama thought it might. Much like a sullen child waiting on his suitcase to be picked up for a custody weekend, millions of Americans are still sitting on those shovels. Why you ask? Because apparently there is no such thing as a project that is just camped out on the desk of some state or local builder just dreaming of an influx of cash from Obama’s stash. Apparently there is a process to this whole job and building thing that Mr. Obama didn’t have a strong working knowledge of. And why should he? As the oft brilliant Charles Krauthammer said on Fox, “Having never worked in the private sector he wouldn’t be sure what a project is and there isn’t a lot of shoveling at Harvard Law School.”

Therein lays the problem my friends, having never actually done anything except for organizing it’s hard for young Barry to really grasp what it takes to come up with a viable business concept, fund it, and see it to fruition. For those of you who voted for him last time and could even vaguely think of voting for him again, it’s a little thing called a resume that he is lacking. Oddly enough, that is the first thing many people look at when they consider hiring someone for a job. Prospective employers want to make sure you have some experience at the job you hope to hold or at least a foundation of knowledge from which to draw. Unfortunately there was no shovel-ready business class to pour that foundation for our current President.

So what do we have to show for almost half a trillion dollars spent and still rising unemployment? It looks as though that was the cost of putting up signs across the concrete arteries of this country to explain that Obama is responsible for the traffic you are sitting in. Before we pass anymore bills to see, as Nancy Pelosi said, “What’s in them”, let’s get a few people up there that actually have a bit of experience shall we?
Oh, and Mr. President, you are sure to be receiving a lump of coal in your stocking this year I just want you to know where that coal comes from. You see, there’s this thing called a company, they put their money at risk to buy equipment and hire workers…aw never mind, you won’t get it.

I hate hate speech!

It’s the height of the political ‘silly season’ as our supreme leader has announced. Silly in this case meaning any discourse that dares disagree with his policies. To boot is the silly season of political rallies and fundraisers that try to appeal to each specific demographic. My generation started the fire with MTV’s ‘Rock the Vote’ which was a thinly veiled version of ACORN with a better soundtrack. The effort was to use the celebrity of rockers from all musical genres but with one common goal, getting a democrat in office.

Fast forward to Barack Obama, who when needed, proclaims himself the first black President. Along with finally breaking the color-coated glass ceiling comes the luxury of getting to pick the music on the First iPod as well as attending whatever acts grace the stages of the get-out-the-vote efforts of his day. This presidential luxury has led to bringing in the star power of hip-hop’s latest one hit wonder, The B.o.B. I know, I know, you’re saying WHO?? and feeling older by the second for not keeping up with the times. Nonetheless, the B.o.B. has quite a set of lyrics that run the gamut from toe-tapping to downright offensive to people of all colors. That apparently didn’t dissuade President Obama from not only attending but speaking at the event.

Interestingly, at the DNC event, President Obama likened the need for patience to wait for his change to save us all to the wait for slavery to be abolished. This at an event where the musical headliner readily drops the word most associated with the pain caused by slavery. We are talking about the ‘n-word’, could there be any other?

Make no doubt about it the ‘n-word’ is very offensive, as is any word that is narrowed down to just one letter. The first one I learned was the dreaded ‘f-word’. Of course since then I've learned about going through the big D, divorce. I've filed the big B to wipe away my debts, but nothing carries quite the same weight as the ‘N-word’. I understand the offensive nature of the word and the painful history that comes with it, which is why I don't understand why it's ever acceptable and why the very group that was denigrated by it chooses to make it a term of endearment. Even worse is how people on the ‘d-side’ of the electoral aisle can pick and choose what constitutes hate according to their political needs. Regardless of color or politics one would think that’s something we could all get behind, let’s hate hate speech!

We have to have to understand that words have meaning for all people or we need to be totally insensitive to words, which the PC police would never allow. Either way we need to make sure that crimes of offensive speech have the same punishment. (See also Harry Reid)

And while we’re at it, could we please return a little class to the office of the President? I get it, you’re younger and hipper than other Presidents but could you maybe have that massive staff we’re paying for flip through the discology of the people with you on stage for filth? It’s a bunch of B.S. that you didn’t know…

Self-Care Reform

Self-Care Reform
After watching the 24 hour news coverage of the health care debates and protests last week I have come to one conclusion about where the blame lies for much of the costs of healthcare in America. No it’s not the insurance companies who routinely raise costs to hedge against losses. It’s not big pharma who charges seemingly huge amounts for drugs to cover the costs of past and future testing. It’s the populace at large…and I mean LARGE! As they panned the floor of the House one thing rang consistent, the people shaping our laws are way out of shape. The protesting crowds fared no better, the angry masses were just that, masses. One of the major costs associated with tending to our growing population is the way that we’ve been growing, fatter by the day.
We are fast becoming the fattest nation on Earth in what has been consistently referred to as the ‘Obesity Epidemic’. Sure there are those with true pre-existing conditions who will benefit from the health care reform but they are the exception to the rule. For the majority, their inability to bypass immediate gratification in the form of Super-sized burgers, fries, and stuffed crust pizza with unlimited breadsticks is leading to a whole host of expensive medical needs from heart disease to Type 2 diabetes, and more. We’ve gotten too lazy to shop, cook, or even walk in to a restaurant. We just drive-thru and eat on our stomachs like hungry sea animals. The Senate is trying to close the donut hole in Medicare coverage while the rest of the donut is being crammed down the gullets of a people hypnotized by a sign reading, “Hot and Fresh Now!”
We have become a nation of victims crying out for someone to come to our aid when personal responsibility fails us. When we are caught in the tractor beam that sucks us in to McDonald’s we scream for lawmakers to clamp down on the oils they use. “Oh, it couldn’t be the sheer amount of garbage we feed ourselves, it must be the fault of some partially hydrogenated trans-gender peanut oil right?” screams John Q. as their doctor executes a third triple bypass like it’s a gold medal event. “It couldn’t be the fault of the people to make good choices it must be their lack of education. We just need to put on better warning labels! That worked for cigarettes right? HA! HA!” says Big Brother as they pander for our approval. Mark my words on this one, the government getting involved in anything is not going to make things better, it never does.
My prescription is simple, put down the junk food and get active. Cutting calories will cut costs for you and everyone else. You won’t just add years to your life but you’ll add life to your years. To the protesters I say, stay angry on both sides by marching vigorously for at least 20 minutes a day, 4 days a week. As you progress in your dissent for life’s injustices, carry heavier signs, changing arms frequently. If your cause du jour gets taken care of find something that is worth marching for. For all others there will be a cigarette vigil on the steps of the Capitol. Those coming by bus are asked to bring extra lighters to supply those traveling by plane.

My Bromance with Paul Ryan

My Bromance with Paul Ryan
After watching the so-called ‘Health Care’ summit that was undoubtedly sponsored by the good people at Tylenol PM, I came away with two things; President Obama’s arrogance and hubris know no bounds and I am developing a slight Bromance for Paul Ryan. I say this with no desire to change my affiliation to Log Cabin Republican, but instead it is a political man-crush like the generation before claims to have had for the Kennedys.
Congressman Ryan has a quickly growing list of political battles he has fought and won recently on behalf of the American people, in and out of his district. As I think of these tick marks in his ‘W’ column, they grow in mythological worth and take the shape of the of the announcement of a champion knight entering the jousting arena…”And yea, did he defeat Barack the Mighty by standing firm on the hill, and thus did he face down mighty the Slaughter of which a rule was so named, and in turn did he take his chart of facts and stand on his beliefs on that mighty Sunday against Wasserman Schultz from the land of sun and sand.” You get the picture.
Alas, all of these stands Brave Sir Paul has made to beat back the lies and deceits of the Socialist agenda appear to be for naught. This latest round included his appearance on Fox News Sunday replete with what was referred to as his “Ross Perot” chart, as it was colorful and full of honest, common sense… which is generally frowned upon by the media. It would appear that exposing Team BO’s creative math claims that their plan would save $138 billion over ten years to the reality of spending over $600 billion to the negative is wasted breath. Regardless, thank you Paul Ryan for fighting the good fight. Time to put down my signs and ease up on the blogging…I need to go find a way to make slightly less money, work on my diet and exercise, I don’t want to have to visit Dr. Obama...or pay for anyone elses.

The Most Ethical Congress in history! Really…I swear!

The hits to the Dems keep a comin’ as yet another TWO prominent House members fall from grace. Just a few short years after Speaker Pelosi gave the campaign promise on the mount to “Drain the swamp” and bring us “The Most Ethical Congress in history” the quantity of scandal and greed is piling up pretty high. Of course we know from Nancy herself that, “Lot’s of things get said out on the campaign trail.” Oh how I wish we could power our cars and factories on the political snake oil we were sold at the ’06 mid-terms!
It appears that Congressman Rangel is having is Ways and Means gavel wrangled from him as he is finally taken down on the technicality of not claiming some past corporate perks. This is akin to Al Capone going up river for tax evasion. How quickly we are shown the shiny object that is the svelte and sexy Charlie splayed out in his Caribbean beach chair in hopes that we will soon forget there are scores of other charges pending. From ill-gotten and underreported rental gains to various other misappropriated funds the man who decided how we should be taxed found a big box next to his name that said ‘exempt’. Sorry Charlie, time to start redistributing your wealth too.
As well it appears today that Representative Eric Massa, also from the great state of New York will be turning tail and not running claiming medical difficulties. Initial reports cite that he is deathly allergic to scandal. There are rumors circulating that he sexually harassed a male staffer. Apparently Madam Speaker, it was fun to cast judgment when the offendee was a Republican (Larry Craig) but people in glass toilet stalls shouldn’t throw stones.
All this on the heels of quite a few other scandals that have been conveniently swept under the rug by the ‘mainstream’ media, such as Rep. Jefferson-LA, who borrowed a few of the extra life-saving vehicles during Katrina to retrieve the bribe money in his fridge.
It appears that when you drain the swamp all you are left with is scum. Will the last honest house member please do the eco-friendly thing and turn out the lights when you leave?