Sorry Virginia, there are no shovel ready projects

I must say I’m crushed…heartbroken…maybe even crestfallen. First some thugs on the schoolyard tell me it’s actually my parents leaving gifts under the tree and taking pretend bites out of the Christmas cookies. Then I find out that there really isn’t a mystical bunny rabbit that leaves candy in baskets of fake plastic grass Easter morning. Now I learn this?! President Obama has admitted to Peter Baker of the New York Times that the very premise of his trillion dollar stimulus was based on a myth! It brings me no great pleasure to tell you this if you haven’t heard already but, “I’m sorry Virginia, there is no such thing as a ‘shovel-ready’ project.”

I better go a step farther and say, “I’m sorry Virginia, Texas, Ohio, Michigan, etc., etc.” All across the 54 states, (thank you to our geography Professor Obama for the update on the state count), we were supposed to be feeling the explosive and almost instantaneous job growth provided by pumping hundreds of billions of dollars into the economy. Unfortunately that hasn’t quite worked out the way that Team Obama thought it might. Much like a sullen child waiting on his suitcase to be picked up for a custody weekend, millions of Americans are still sitting on those shovels. Why you ask? Because apparently there is no such thing as a project that is just camped out on the desk of some state or local builder just dreaming of an influx of cash from Obama’s stash. Apparently there is a process to this whole job and building thing that Mr. Obama didn’t have a strong working knowledge of. And why should he? As the oft brilliant Charles Krauthammer said on Fox, “Having never worked in the private sector he wouldn’t be sure what a project is and there isn’t a lot of shoveling at Harvard Law School.”

Therein lays the problem my friends, having never actually done anything except for organizing it’s hard for young Barry to really grasp what it takes to come up with a viable business concept, fund it, and see it to fruition. For those of you who voted for him last time and could even vaguely think of voting for him again, it’s a little thing called a resume that he is lacking. Oddly enough, that is the first thing many people look at when they consider hiring someone for a job. Prospective employers want to make sure you have some experience at the job you hope to hold or at least a foundation of knowledge from which to draw. Unfortunately there was no shovel-ready business class to pour that foundation for our current President.

So what do we have to show for almost half a trillion dollars spent and still rising unemployment? It looks as though that was the cost of putting up signs across the concrete arteries of this country to explain that Obama is responsible for the traffic you are sitting in. Before we pass anymore bills to see, as Nancy Pelosi said, “What’s in them”, let’s get a few people up there that actually have a bit of experience shall we?
Oh, and Mr. President, you are sure to be receiving a lump of coal in your stocking this year I just want you to know where that coal comes from. You see, there’s this thing called a company, they put their money at risk to buy equipment and hire workers…aw never mind, you won’t get it.